FWF – Free Write Friday: Bare Truth

This is last week’s prompt:

 

Here is your FWF prompt:

Source: We Heart It

 

Fearless childhood

A time when all things were possible

When parents were there to catch you

if you fell,

And stumble you did, often

and it was okay, because you were just learning

trying things for the first time,

exploring and discovering in equal ratio.

 

Then you had to grow up and you began to fear

all sorts of things

and some of them were real and could hurt you

and others existed in your over-active imagination,

the bit of you that refused to grow up.

 

You learnt to calm yourself down

and patch up your own wounds,

hide the scars of failure,

falling down again and again.

 

Nowadays, you would

run from a bear,

despite knowing

the best

thing to do

is to

stand still.

 

FWF – Free Write Friday – Pivotal Moment – The Other Side of Black is White

 This week’s FWF by Guest host Kelley Rose asks a deeply profound question;

What I would like to know, your prompt for the day, is what was that pivotal moment for you, and most importantly, how did it change you?

Click the FWF banner to find out more and read other bloggers answers to this prompt.

 

Pivotal Moment – The Other Side of Black is White

For many years I suffered depression, undiagnosed and battling through life everyday was a struggle. There were many outside influences which caused my anxiety and stress, they were all situations that I felt caught in and I couldn’t see how I could change my life for the better. Despite friends, family and Mr G telling me exactly what I should do to overcome this darkness.

 Life was definitely no fun anymore and some nights I would fall asleep with the wish that I would not wake up again. (Fortunately the universe didn’t listen!) In early 2012, I found myself at breaking point and sought medical support.

There is a test that Doctors use to calculate the level of depression. I scored so highly on the test that I only dropped a couple of points off the maximum. If a job’s worth doing – it’s worth doing well. It was no wonder that despite trying self-help I had got nowhere. Medication was prescribed and I was signed off from work.

Hello rock bottom.

Which I am still not strong enough to write about and I believe the pivotal prompt is more about sharing the shine than the darkness.

Needless to say this dark passage, the longest journey I have ever been on – had a domino effect on my life, which at the time was not a positive collapse of all I knew. I ended up back at work – before I was well enough to cope – this led to reduced hours and many problems that I didn’t feel it was fair I was facing (disability act and all that), I could no longer afford my apartment on half a salary, I stood to lose my home (not something that is going to spur a depressed person onto happier places!) I had no spare cash so couldn’t have gone out much even if I had wanted to – which I didn’t. I have only recently (early summer) this year found the pleasure in socialising again. It is a long, hard process and one that still requires a lot of action on my part and intervention.

But from the depths of this dark journey I found buried treasure. Parts of myself supressed for years.

When I was very ill there is little I could do, I didn’t leave the bed. But I took something there. My books.   For the first time in years I had time to read and the pages enabled me to escape into worlds where I didn’t have to confront what was happening to me or around me. I rediscovered my love of the written word.

A year later, I was writing! Something I hadn’t done for over six years (and I used to be a published poet, performance writer and freelance writer), at first it was a depression diary, then a journal and eventually real work. Stories and poems.

I started this blog because of it – and the list of what I have gained from having the blog and the wordpress community is endless.

Mr G and I also bought our house together. Moving in early summer this year. Another hugely pivotal and positive event.

I have had a poem published and I am back on the performance poetry circuit.

I am alive.

Most importantly I know I have the strength to survive anything. There is another side – and I will come out on top in the end. I AM A GOOD PERSON AND I DESERVE GOOD THINGS TO HAPPEN!

It is only from this pain that we learn to survive. From knowing we can survive we harness hope. That peace of mind stays with you no matter what colour your day is. No matter what happens. We know. There is another chance. That change will come, but it will bring opportunity. That I am not the same person that I was two years ago or even two days ago. That growth is life and growing pains can last beyond adolescence. That this is what life is.

Knowing the other side of black is white – that light can be found in the depths of darkness carries me on. Life is for living and sometimes that’s hard. But keep breathing because your next breath may offer you a pivotal moment of your own.

 

 

FWF – Free Write Friday – Blood Moon

Here is my entry for Kellie Elmore’s Free Write Friday.

Mark Schutter is Guest Hosting Free Write Friday this week. I am delighted to have some time to get back to posting on writing challenges. This week’s prompt is timely and inspiring.

Here is your prompt – let’s see what magic the autumn Hunters or Blood Moon conjures up!

VegaStar Carpentier captured this image of a Hunter’s Moon from Paris, France on Oct. 30, 2012 using a Canon EOS 1000D. October’s Full Moon is called the “Hunter’s Moon” or “Blood Moon”. It is the first Full Moon after the Harvest Moon (the Full Moon nearest the Autumnal equinox) and it gets its name from hunters who tracked and killed their prey by autumn moonlight, stockpiling food for the winter ahead and marked hunting season in North America.

Photo Credit: VegaStar Carpentier Website – http://www.space.com/18307-blood-red-hunters-moon-photo.html

 

The blood red moon hangs low

an all seeing orb, a fortune tellers crystal ball,

accusations and desperate cries absorbed in its craters.

 

Stealth of foot the men hunt in packs

Wrapped in warm fur,

no part of an animal wasted.

 

Mortal skin shielded from the bitter cold of night.

The Sanguine Moon knows too much, sees too much,

Weeps as it guides the Autumn hunters to their prey.

 

In the fields the harvest has been reaped.

The men pack speeds up,

pursuing life for food.

 

Night hides their shadows

the blood moon stays silent

hanging in the shame of a black sky.

 

The men pack waits

for foxes to come and eat from the fallen carpet of grain.

They take home their food for winter.

 

The blood red moon will once again

be left alone,

lighting up the land that snared the animals.

 

Snow will come, the ground will freeze

all trace of this pillage will disappear,

just like the Hunter’s moon.

 

Casting out little light

Growing weaker as the

day breaks.

 

The Blood Moon and the

men pack will return next year.

The cycle will resume.

FWF – Free Write Friday – Autumn

  foliage – amber – wicker – aroma – sweater – cocoa

 

The leaves fall in heaps on the floor,

Sweet aroma of dew mixing with Autumn’s promise.

 

Deep pinks, reds, ambers and  browns.

The deep rich orange,

Amber jewellery displayed on trays, stall after stall

in the marketplace in Poland.

Brown leaves, the colour of burnt cocoa.

 

Children collect twigs to make wicker wands,

Chase each other around

kicking up the leaves.

 

No time to mourn the Summer,

Autumn has started her dance.

Dressed in a different shade,

Accessorised foliage

changes,

just as we

change from our summer clothes to

Sweaters.

 

 

FWF Free Write Friday – Dandelion Season

I am so late finding Friday’s prompt I can barely call this a Free Write Friday contribution – Tantalisingly Tardy Tuesday Write maybe…

I liked the list of prompts this week and although tempted by The Human Zoo have chosen…

 

Dandelion Season

 

As a child I believed all flowers were pretty

Especially the yellow ones,

Even the weeds.

I didn’t understand how something so vibrant

could be plucked and forced up

from it’s roots between stone.

 

I never saw the transformation.

I forgot to sit and look for days,

Dandelion season came and went.

 

The once lion-headed, flame yellow

roar,

Silenced as it

turned.

 

Replaced

by the gentle

current of fairy wings,

Escaping into late summer’s breeze.

 

Following the shapes of the garden,

Up, up to freedom.

Those fairies landing on us got blown

upwards too.

 

I would close my eyes and

make a wish

Before I puffed my cheeks and

blew the fairy on

towards a new destination.

FWF – Free Write Friday – Street View

This is my LATE entry for Kellie’s FWF – Free Write Friday Challenge, as it was my birthday weekend. I have found this image several times earlier this week whilst searching for artwork and images to use in the Inkspill portfolio.

 

 

He liked to watch the world from here,

Street level.

He wore dark glasses

So no-one could see his thoughts

or tears.

So much had changed.

This place moved on,

even when

people didn’t.

FWF – Free Write Friday – Life Goes On

This week I am late submitting any writing for the FWF challenge – one of the reasons (apart from being offline Friday night) is that I found it a challenge to prepare my mind for this week’s prompt.

It is based around the last line of your favourite book – my books are all still packed in boxes! I tried to Google end-lines and ended up choosing a novel I like but not the one I originally thought of.
I did discover a wonderful webpage from ‘The Stylist’ which almanacs the best 100 last lines of novels – you may enjoy checking it out HERE

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

P.S. I Love You

“In the meantime, she would just live.”

P.S. I Love You, Cecelia Ahern

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Life would never be the same again, she knew that. She also knew that she would never give up, that she would fight to clear his name for the rest of her life. But after David passed away she was far too tired to carry on the fight. She took the phone off the hook and stopped opening her post, some days she didn’t even manage to get out of bed. There was a lot she couldn’t face. She knew this time would pass, she also knew that much of her strength came from David. She had lost her connection. He wouldn’t have wanted this for her, but she had no choice – in the hold of grief she found life impossible.

To find out more about this prompt and read other entries click the icon.

Turn the Negatives into Positives – How to Look at Your Writing Block in a New Light

A USEFUL READ FOR ALL WRITERS

 Yesterday I had a ponder about where I am at, eight months into my writing life. I was listening to the inner gremlins and believing what they said and was feeling very down about the lack of commitment and writing I have managed this August.

What we have to realise is failures are just set backs and they happen to every writer. We are unlikely to experience a writing life without rejection, we can change the way we respond to such things to keep our motivation high and to guarantee we don’t tread water or give up.

I spent Friday researching (my way of feeling better about not writing), I watched some TED talks and video clips of famous best selling authors talking about their craft. Many mentioned set backs. Something familiar to all of us.

Instead of allowing the inner gremlins to get a hold of me any further I concentrated on turning my thoughts around.

I am not writing this month, however I stepped back to January and mentally logged all the success and writing that wouldn’t even exist if I hadn’t woken up and fed my starving creative spirit to begin with.

INNER THOUGHTS I WILL SHARE WITH YOU  

Where there is bad there is always good, for every gremlin that calls out retorts there is a writing warrior to combat them. With thoughts alone I hushed them. (At this point I feel it necessary to point out I am not actually hearing voices, I refer to the thoughts we all have during writing or resting from writing. The monsters inside us that try to kybosh whatever project or dream we have set our heart on.)

• Spend energy on writing instead of wallowing.
• Make the change. Be the change. Own it.
• Allow yourself time away from writing. Rest is important for creativity to thrive.
• I can make it happen and I will. BELIEVE.
• Give your overloaded mind a break.

JUGGLING WRITING AND LIFE

I read many articles yesterday which seemed to answer the questions I was thinking, including a scientific article about how our brains work. It is a neurological proven fact that we compartmentalise our thoughts. Normally we can manage 7 simultaneous thoughts – when we are stressed this is reduced to only 5… as most of my days are filled with at least this many thoughts about the house and my working future it is no small wonder that I am currently struggling to write anything down!

The advice is the same wherever I look, if you are tired ‘take a break!’ allow yourself permission to down tools.

Sometimes you can no longer juggle – you have to put the balls down to wipe your hands (and brow)!

MOVING FORWARD (without a pen in hand)

Consider all your successes.

Concentrate on these – they are positive and will hush your negative gremlins. Mine include;

writers I have met, friends I have made, websites I have found, opportunities for submission, expanding my knowledge, training in genres, participating in online courses, influences and inspiration I have discovered.

And here are some tips I have picked up for moving on from this BLOCK.

1. Focus on the process of writing rather than the result. (This will take the pressure off.)
2. Take a break, allocate some time away from writing, but make sure you return.
3. Don’t give up!
4. Declutter your writing space. (Cluttered space, cluttered mind.)

MY (GENTLE) RETURN TO WRITING PLAN

If you are suffering set backs, blocks or a lack of motivation – make a plan. ‘There is no beginning too small.’ Here’s mine.

• Cultivate my inspiring angel voice – the writing warrior inside me who can tell the writing gremlins to shut up. Dispel negative thoughts by turning them around (like a battery has a positive and negative end – so too do my thoughts!)

 

• Create a daily writing habit (something I have abandoned) this can be as simple as 10 minutes a day of journal/ freewriting in a notebook, you don’t even need to get out of bed!

 

• Start loving your writing and the process of writing again.

 

• Don’t give up! Giving up will only make you feel worse.

 

• Be gentle on yourself.

Happy writing!

FWF Free Write Fridays – Time and Place Scenario Prompt

This is my entry for FWF – Kellie Elmore’s Free- Write Friday challenge. Last week we all enjoyed writing the time and place prompt. This week we have another one;

It’s high noon. Sun blazing. You awake in a field and birds are pecking your skin… GO!

It took a while for Jimmy to come round and when he did he wished he had remained unconscious! Birds were swarming around him like something out of a Hitchcock film. He managed to muster the strength to roll onto his front. He had to protect his eyes from the pecking birds.

The mad farmer had obviously fed them on something they shouldn’t have had. Cannibal birds, he had heard of them nesting around these parts.

Jimmy mustered up his strength, began to tense and relax his muscles, he had no idea how long he had been under. Eventually when he felt a few birds fly away, unable to penetrate his leathers. He mustered up his strength and in one swift flapping movement he rose up like a giant. Ear piercing squawks reverberated around the sun scorched skies as the cannibal birds fled over the corn crop, Jim ran in the opposite direction.

He would have to rethink Operation Scarecrow, this old man had far more back-up than he had expected.

Freewrite Friday -A Time & Place Scenario.

This is my entry for Kellie Elmore’s Free Write Friday, this week. Click the button to find out more.

At 87 I did not expect this. For years I had taught the children about the underground bunkers of my Grandparents generation… I certainly never expected I would find myself in one. They weren’t the same spaces as bunkers in the 20th Century, they were brightly lit and well equipped, the doomsday preppers had seen to that.

I shouldn’t moan really, but don’t you find everyone in their 80’s has a bit of a whine? It is because we have been around so long and seen so much. We are tired. I ache all the time. Bits of me keep breaking. I used to laugh with David that I was practically bionic, not all that dissimilar to the Alcumus, who rule the overground. Or who ruled should I say, that’s why we are all in here!

Many of the people down here are relieved to have made it underground, but you see I have a problem with people. I hate having to give up my space, independence AND natural light, all this has been the tin lid of this week! I relish isolation, even if it means going back up.

All the others are bonding, they work well together. They help each other and talk in quiet tones in small groups about the Wrath and the rule of Alcumus, they probably think I can’t hear, because I am so old. When I lost David, I aged terribly and let myself go. I stopped the injections and gravity has had a little play with my face!

They are not used to seeing the elderly. They all think I have survived some sort of massacre, looking the way I do, sitting as silent as I do. I have played the age card, it wasn’t my idea, they all assumed I wouldn’t want to be part of a survival rota. I am an extra burden they have to cater for. I sit and think and stay quiet.

The mixture of burdening the youngsters and longing for human isolation have helped me make up my mind. Tomorrow I will plan my escape.
For now though, these old bones need to sleep.

The prompt;

Let’s leap into the future with a time & place scenario. 

The year: 2063

The place: An underground bunker

What’s going on?