Tag Archives: depression

The Stay at Home! Literary Festival – Week 1 – Part 4 – The Weekend #SAHF 2021

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Welcome to the 2nd part of week 1 – these are just snippet reviews from some of my festival experience. Enjoy your bite of SAHLF 2021.

NaPoWriMo drew to a close and May began, so too the first festival weekend. With a list of many great events programmed for the SAHLF.

All the featured books can be purchased in the S@HLF Bookshop here.

Saturday 1st

What We Do to Get Through

Q and A and discussion with author and editor James Withey about his new book What I Do to Get Through: How to Run, Swim, Cycle, Sew or Sing Your Way Through Depression, with writers Orna Cunningham and Georgina Woolfrey.

I remember James Withey from last year’s SAHLF. As I have already mentioned in these review posts, dealing with Mental Health and Wellbeing are essential movements in my life. When I suffered clinical depression (8+ years ago), I (like James) could not read, I couldn’t do anything for a long while. Due to being heavily medicated I mainly slept and even as I progressed with treatment it was a long time before I could look at words. I wanted there to be books to help, had there been it may have been a swifter recovery (but possibly not) and in truth, I will always be on this road. I did eventually find black rainbow by Rachel Kelly and that saved me, I blogged about it a lot and the book itself was one of the few available at the time from the perspective of a person who had suffered. I met Rachel a year later – there are some old posts about it all here:

Approaching the New Year (2015)

A NEW YEAR Message – Inspired by black rainbow by Rachel Kelly (2015)

Meeting Rachel (May 2015)

Not SAHLF/Bookshop Merch

Anyway, this long preamble is to say that these books, this issue are so IMPORTANT. I was amazed and heartened by the attitude towards the audience as this being our space, our time and how willingly people joined in the conversation. Brilliant to see as everything took a lot of guts and courage.

The impact of this session on me cannot really be placed within the framework of words or emotion. Those of you from here will know why.

What I Do to Get Through: How to Run, Swim, Cycle, Sew, or Sing Your Way Through Depression

SAHLF BOOKSHOP

Author Bio

James Withey

James Withey is author of the bestselling book How to Tell Depression to Piss Off: 40 Ways to Get Your Life Back, published by Little, Brown in 2020. The follow up book How to Tell Anxiety to Sod Off, will be published in Jan 2022. He is the founder of The Recovery Letters project which publishes online letters from people recovering from depression, addressed to people experiencing it. He is the co-editor of The Recovery Letters book which was a World Book Night title and selected as a Reading Well title. Cosmopolitan magazine named it as ‘One of the 12 mental health books everyone should read’.

What I Do to Get Through: How to Run, Swim, Cycle, Sew, or Sing Your Way Through Depression, was published by Jessica Kingsley in Feb 2021. James lives in Hove with his husband and emotionally damaged cat.

Orna Cunningham

Orna Cunningham is an editor, illustrator and designer. Hailing from Dublin, Ireland, she has been based in her adopted home of Toronto, Canada, since 2015. She has worked for titles like the Irish Independent, The Daily Mail, The Irish Sun, and Russia Today. She is passionate about destigmatising topics surrounding mental health, and apart from her work as a journalist, writes short stories, personal essays, and poetry, and presents the occasional podcast.

Georgina Woolfrey

Georgina Woolfrey is a writer and Spanish teacher from SE London. Her writing journey began in 2015 when her debut blog post, ‘My journey to hell: how depression hijacked my soul and how I finally wrenched it back’ gained thousands of views overnight, leading her to write for Mind, Thought Catalog and HuffPost. Her blog, ‘Wolves’ Wit and Wisdom’ gives readers tips based on her experiences of overcoming depression, anxiety and SAD. What I Do To Get Through is Georgina’s first work in print, and combines her two loves of singing and writing. © S@HLF Programme

It was interesting to hear the genesis of this book and to listen to how various hobbies and the act of doing something helps manage this deep illness. Also loved the fact that James told us all about an Avocado he planted/nurtured and the next day it appeared on his Twitter feed.

Georgina told us the writing which was viewed over 90,000 times was written to try and explain to her friends and family how and where she was.

Home in Our Bodies

Was an incredible powerful event, a reading and a workshop activity. It was joy to discover the brave, honest voice of Aoife Lyall and the equal depth of Victoria Kennefick’s poetry.

Her first collection Mother, Nature (Bloodaxe Books, 2021) has been described as ‘crucial’, ‘daring’, ‘heart-rending’ and ‘staggeringly tender’. 

Aoife Lyall

Aoife Lyall (née Griffin) was born in Dublin in 1987 and now lives in the Scottish Highlands. Awarded an Emerging Scottish Writer residency by Cove Park in 2020 and twice shortlisted for the Hennessy New Irish Writing Awards, her poems have also been shortlisted in the Wells Festival of Literature Open Poetry Competition and the Jane Martin Poetry Prize. She was longlisted for the inaugural Rebecca Swift Foundation Women Poets’ Prize in 2018. Her first collection, Mother, Nature, is published by Bloodaxe Books in 2021. She has worked as a guest curator for the Scottish Poetry Library and as a guest editor for Butcher’s Dog. Her reviews have appeared in Browse, The Interpreters’ House, Poetry London and PN Review.

Victoria Kennefick

Victoria Kennefick’s first collection, Eat or We Both Starve, is published by Carcanet Press and a selection of her poems appear in the Carcanet New Poetries VIII Anthology. Her pamphlet, White Whale (Southword, 2015), won the Munster Literature Centre Fool for Poetry Chapbook Competition and the Saboteur Award for Best Poetry Pamphlet. Work has appeared in Poetry, The Poetry Review, Poetry Ireland Review, Ambit, PN Review, Prelude, Copper Nickel, The Stinging Fly and elsewhere. She is an Arts Council of Ireland Next Generation Artist. © S@HLF Programme

The writing points produced some page surprises for me, not least as I chose a different focal point for the first one and then discovered this had been chosen for the 2nd exercise, so I reverted back to the initial prompt for my second one.

This evet was a dream, if you have a chance to catch these two talented poets, please do.

SAHLF BOOKSHOP

Witches of Scotland Podcast – Claire Mitchell QC and Zoe Venditozzi

Claire Mitchell QC and Zoe Venditozzi talk about their Witches of Scotland podcast and their work to secure a national monument and apology for those accused of witchcraft during the Scottish Witch trials.

Claire Mitchell

Claire Mitchell studied Law at the University of Glasgow and was called at the Scottish Bar in 2003, having been a solicitor in private practice since 1996. She specialises in criminal law and criminal extradition. She has built up a strong Appeal Court practice, with an emphasis on constitutional, human rights and sentencing questions. She has attended the Privy Council and Supreme Court on a number of occasions in relation to cases of general public importance to the law of Scotland. At the 2013 Law Awards of Scotland, she received a “Special Recognition Award” for her contribution to legal thinking over the previous decade.

Zoe Venditozzi

Zoe Venditozzi is a writer and teacher who lives in Scotland with her husband and various children. She works as a Support for Learning teacher and also teaches Creative Writing in various settings. Her first novel Anywhere’s Better Than Here won the Guardian newspaper’s Not the Booker popular prize and she has just finished writing a book about madness and psychic phenomena.

© S@HLF Programme

This was a fascinating talk. One thing which amazes me is how much local history/National History we never hear about. I knew about the Witch Trials but had not realised just how many lost their lives in Scotland. In other countries, these trials form a central part of the area, here it is hidden, swept shamefully away.

And in the next event, I laughed for practically the full hour. Helen Lederer, I love you!

This was just a stunning, hilarious and insightful three-way conversation/ interview and reading. I am SO glad I didn’t miss it!

How to be Funny When the World is Far From It

Join the founder of the Comedy Women in Print prize Helen Lederer and witty authors Lucy Vine and Abigail Mann to talk about funny fiction, what it’s been like writing comedy when the world doesn’t seem funny, and whether humour has the power to unite us.

Helen Lederer

Helen began her career in stand-up comedy at London’s famous Comedy Store, as part of the early 80s comedians including French & Saunders and Rik Mayall. She wrote her first play aged ten and was an avid diarist which served her well when asked to reveal them in BBC Radio 4’s My Teenage Diary. On television, Helen is possibly best known for her role as the dippy Catriona in all five series of ‘Absolutely Fabulous’. She has written and performed several one-woman shows- ‘Still Crazy’ a sell out at the Edinburgh Festival in the 90’s, ‘I Might As Well Say It’ was a sell out in 2018. Books include, Coping with Helen Lederer (Angus and Robertson), Single Minding (Hodder and Stoughton) and Finger Food (Accent Press). Her comedy novel, Losing It, published by Pan Macmillan was nominated for the Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse Prize. She founded the Comedy Women Print Prize to celebrate witty writing by women in 2019.

Lucy Vine

Lucy Vine is a writer, editor and the bestselling author of novels, Hot Mess, What Fresh Hell, Are We Nearly There Yet? and Bad Choices, out 10 June 2021. Her books have been translated into ten languages around the world, with Hot Mess optioned for a TV series in America. She’s been twice longlisted for the Comedy Women In Print Award and also hosted the podcast and live event series, the Hot Mess Clubhouse, celebrating funny women. Her journalism has appeared in the likes of GRAZIA, Stylist, heat, Fabulous, New, Now, marie claire, Glamour Online, COSMOPOLITAN, The Guardian, The Telegraph, The Sun and The Mirror.

Abigail Mann

Abigail is a comedy writer living in London and surviving on a diet of three-shot coffee, bourbons, and vegetarian sausage rolls. She was born and brought up in Norfolk, which she says is to blame for the sardonic humour that runs through her novels. Abigail was the runner up in 2019’s Comedy Women in Print award for The Lonely Fajita and has recently published her second book The Sister Surprise. Abigail takes inspiration from unconventional cross-sections of modern society and the impact this has on identity and the relationships we create. When she’s not writing, she teaches creative workshops.

© S@HLF Programme

SAHLF BOOKSHOP

Malika’s Kitchen

Readings from Katie Griffiths, Arji Manuelpillai, Courtney Conrad and Janett Plummer, introduced by the Director of Malika’s Poetry Kitchen, Jill Abram. Malika’s Poetry Kitchen (aka MPK, aka Kitchen) is a writers’ collective founded in Brixton by Malika Booker and Roger Robinson in 2001. It nurtures the writing, performance and careers of poets by emphasising craft, community and development.

Malika’s Poetry Kitchen (aka MPK, aka Kitchen) is a writers’ collective founded in Brixton by Malika Booker and Roger Robinson in 2001. It nurtures the writing, performance and careers of poets by emphasising craft, community and development. Jill Abram has been the Director since 2010. Under her stewardship the group meets for workshops on Friday evenings (the saying goes that, as MPK members give their Friday nights over to poetry, we must be very dedicated). Some sessions are led by members of the collective, others by guest poets from the UK and beyond, such as Kei Miller, Mona Arshi and Olive Senior. MPK Alumni include Inua Ellams, Warsan Shire, Kayo Chingonyi, Karen McCarthy Woolf, Nick Makoha and Aoife Mannix. This lively, London-based community of dedicated poets has inspired similar Kitchen models to be set up worldwide, from Chicago to Delhi, creating an international MPK family.

© S@HLF Programme

I’ve known about Malika’s Kitchen for years (since 2015), I have seen a few live events with members of the Kitchen and watched countless interviews (well, I could count them, less than 10) with Roger Robinson, Malika Booker or Jill Abram. I was not going to miss this event and I am glad I didn’t.

It was lovely to be reminded of the whole story, to be introduced to the newest member, Courtney Conrad and one of the original poets, Janett Plummer and to see and hear poets I know and or/have met and those I don’t know. A great mix of work in this reading. And I have to mention – Janett’s amazing balloon arch!

I recently attended Kate Griffiths Book Launch (and have seen her read over the years) and Live from the Butchery (Helen Ivory, Martin Figura & Kate Birch – IS&T) had a Malika’s Kitchen reading in March with Malika Booker, Jill Abram and Fahad Al-Amoudi – I have watched Jill and Malika reading many times over the years at various festivals and had caught some of Fahad Al-Amoudi’s work. In Lockdown1 – 2020, I was fortunate enough to be led back to Wayne Holloway-Smith and through him discovered Arji Manuelpillai just in time to make his book launch for Mutton Rolls.

SAHLF BOOKSHOP

So I was excited by the line up and knew this was going to be a golden event! And I was not disappointed!

As well as enjoying and listening to a variety of readings, Jill Abram introduced this new book, (which I was aware of). It is packed with poems from Malika’s Kitchen members, the title is how poets in this group were viewed 20 years ago. You can pre-order this book. Inside there are more than 60 new poems from members.

PRE-ORDER here

The poetry collective and I discovered this through a session Malika led and also a Poetry Society event, is international. Similar groups in this model have been set up and there is a section of the book where Malika Booker talks to this.

Published 5th August 2021

Again – if you missed this event, go and find it on the channel after the festival, treat yourself!

Approaching the New Year: Reviewing Resolutions, Truth and Rainbows

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Approaching The New Year

I have had a play around in Blogland and managed to actually visit and read other blogs and as one would expect at this time of year they are all filled to the brim with shiny new hope and goal setting.

As a trained Life Coach I know about this field and how to succeed. I don’t make resolutions, I make plans. Then I chase my way through all the obstacles to victory or a soothing acceptance somewhere close by.

I had a trawl through our own archives here and found some GEMS that I will link you up to, recommended reading for sure. As a blogger, I have been carrying the thought of my New Year message since Christmas, when as you remember I was offline and absorbing the full 3D reality of life in the big, wide world.

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Reviewing Resolutions

ARCHIVED NEW YEAR / GOAL SETTING LINKS

https://awritersfountain.wordpress.com/2014/01/01/new-year-new-you-writing-resolutions/

It seems last year I did make resolutions, the best thing about this post  ^ is knowing the results 12 months later;

Here are my resolutions – feel free to commit some of your own down in response to this post.

I am working towards a collection of poems for a pamphlet. I sent 2 manuscripts, both were rejected but one showed promise and I continue to make this my personal project of 2015. The process has opened up a whole new world. I had the wardrobe, now I have to find my way around Narnia!

I am starting work as an Assistant Writer with hope of having a position as a Lead Writer in 2015. I am coming up to 12 months as an Assistant Writer for WWM and have also been 1 of 3 writers picked as mentors for a term.

I am going to have a big presence on the Performance Circuit in the hope of being booked for guest spots by the end of the year. I managed 107 events, some were open mics, other were gallery openings, art projects, festivals, commissions, collaborations, everyone of them was a delight! I performed alongside many amazing people and have just had my 2nd Headline/ Main guest booking!

I will submit poetry for publication. I did! Some was published, others rejected, all were new writing fresh from my pen.

I will write some short stories for competitions. I did, I have shelved this as I was not particularly successful in this field although I corresponded with some incredible people and had a few close misses. However, posts I wrote back in 2013 about writing short stories are still top of the stats several years later.

https://awritersfountain.wordpress.com/2013/09/01/writing-short-stories-tips-on-planning-and-structure/

 

https://awritersfountain.wordpress.com/2013/01/05/putting-the-stones-in-first/

 

Truth

I spent the holidays reading a rather large book which was an emotional mountain for me, reaching the peak took several attempts and I needed to find more strength to finish the final chapters. It was far from an easy read (and yet still enjoyable) it is the kind of book I have always imagined writing, the sort of book that I didn’t believe existed, the sort of book I have needed to read for years, but wouldn’t have been strong enough or open enough before now (and it was still being written) there in the final pages I found shining out at me ,a New Year message.

The book is Black Rainbow by Rachel Kelly http://www.blackrainbow.org.uk/

I recommend it for any families with depression sufferers, as someone suffering it might be a monumental challenge but a worthwhile one.

I accepted help in 2012 and have been on medication (and other treatment) ever since, I spent the first 3-4 years trying to self help, medicate naturally and hid it from myself and others. I was diagnosed as high functioning but had slam-dunked the Beck Test, severe depression. It is something that affects lots of creative minds.

Part of my healing came from reading and later writing (journaling emotions initially) and eventually writing again after a 15 year break and finally entering back into the world of Poetry, all of which supports me in my day to day living.

I acknowledge that I attacked 2014 on the LIVE circuit with a vigour that was only possible to maintain through mania and that I myself need to calmly tread into 2015, stay behind the desk a little more, get things done, write my own rainbows. I’ve started, I am 90k into a manuscript that is still growing and assembling some shape,  finding that there are books out there written by people who have lived it, that work to lift your head to a different space is exhilarating and I will definitely pursue my own version of such a record, more books like this are needed.

Having said that, the diary for January is already filling up and brimming with a few exciting new ventures. More on that later.

Rainbows

Look out for my post on Rainbows COMING SOON!

Until then, spend some time considering what you want to discover in this new year. Look around you, be a part of that.

me MM

Dream big & keep writing

 

ADDITIONAL LINKS

About one in 10 people, possibly more, in the UK will experience depression during their lifetime. However, the exact number is hard to estimate because many people do not get help, or are not formally diagnosed with the condition. When sadness and other symptoms of depression are intense and last for long periods of time, they can signal clinical depression or major depression, a serious medical illness that needs professional care.

SOURCE: http://www.webmd.boots.com/depression/default.htm boots_webmd_logo

Low Mood and Depression Audio NHS

Black Dog – A Wonderful Advert: World Health Organization

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We do not talk about our black dogs – these are the kind of pets that society doesn’t accept easily, it is easy to feel alone. You feel like you are the only one on the planet with a black dog, but they breed widely.

This is an amazing awareness video from the World Health Organization and timely viewing, speaking with my doctor yesterday he said if more people could recognise the trigger he could help recovery quicker. It is hard to know sometimes though…. What I thought mine was wasn’t really it in the end.
Watching this this reminded me of how it used to feel 2 years ago, how I felt. It is incredible how far I have come. I want to thank my Black Dog though, because without him my life wouldn’t have changed beyond recognition, it was from my mood journals, gratitude journals and depression diaries that the writer in me re-emerged.
I am grateful – because I know rock bottom and I realise the only way from there is UP!

FWF – Free Write Friday – Pivotal Moment – The Other Side of Black is White

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free-write-friday-kellie-elmore This week’s FWF by Guest host Kelley Rose asks a deeply profound question;

What I would like to know, your prompt for the day, is what was that pivotal moment for you, and most importantly, how did it change you?

Click the FWF banner to find out more and read other bloggers answers to this prompt.

 

Pivotal Moment – The Other Side of Black is White

For many years I suffered depression, undiagnosed and battling through life everyday was a struggle. There were many outside influences which caused my anxiety and stress, they were all situations that I felt caught in and I couldn’t see how I could change my life for the better. Despite friends, family and Mr G telling me exactly what I should do to overcome this darkness.

exit Life was definitely no fun anymore and some nights I would fall asleep with the wish that I would not wake up again. (Fortunately the universe didn’t listen!) In early 2012, I found myself at breaking point and sought medical support.

There is a test that Doctors use to calculate the level of depression. I scored so highly on the test that I only dropped a couple of points off the maximum. If a job’s worth doing – it’s worth doing well. It was no wonder that despite trying self-help I had got nowhere. Medication was prescribed and I was signed off from work.

Hello rock bottom.

Which I am still not strong enough to write about and I believe the pivotal prompt is more about sharing the shine than the darkness.

Needless to say this dark passage, the longest journey I have ever been on – had a domino effect on my life, which at the time was not a positive collapse of all I knew. I ended up back at work – before I was well enough to cope – this led to reduced hours and many problems that I didn’t feel it was fair I was facing (disability act and all that), I could no longer afford my apartment on half a salary, I stood to lose my home (not something that is going to spur a depressed person onto happier places!) I had no spare cash so couldn’t have gone out much even if I had wanted to – which I didn’t. I have only recently (early summer) this year found the pleasure in socialising again. It is a long, hard process and one that still requires a lot of action on my part and intervention.

But from the depths of this dark journey I found buried treasure. Parts of myself supressed for years.

When I was very ill there is little I could do, I didn’t leave the bed. But I took something there. My books. photo_9658_landscape_large  For the first time in years I had time to read and the pages enabled me to escape into worlds where I didn’t have to confront what was happening to me or around me. I rediscovered my love of the written word.

A year later, I was writing! Something I hadn’t done for over six years (and I used to be a published poet, performance writer and freelance writer), at first it was a depression diary, then a journal and eventually real work. Stories and poems.

I started this blog because of it – and the list of what I have gained from having the blog and the wordpress community is endless.

Mr G and I also bought our house together. Moving in early summer this year. Another hugely pivotal and positive event.

I have had a poem published and I am back on the performance poetry circuit.

I am alive.

Most importantly I know I have the strength to survive anything. There is another side – and I will come out on top in the end. I AM A GOOD PERSON AND I DESERVE GOOD THINGS TO HAPPEN!

motivation learn

It is only from this pain that we learn to survive. From knowing we can survive we harness hope. That peace of mind stays with you no matter what colour your day is. No matter what happens. We know. There is another chance. That change will come, but it will bring opportunity. That I am not the same person that I was two years ago or even two days ago. That growth is life and growing pains can last beyond adolescence. That this is what life is.

Knowing the other side of black is white – that light can be found in the depths of darkness carries me on. Life is for living and sometimes that’s hard. But keep breathing because your next breath may offer you a pivotal moment of your own.

 

 

Silf Gives Self – Margaret Silf Seminar

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Silf Gives Self

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A long time ago now – way back in September I went on a Seminar Day facilitated by Margaret Silf – author of ‘The Other Side of Chaos’. It was one of those events that I was torn between going and not. I knew the Literature Festival was the following week and money spent on this day (although a bargain) equated to 2 shows, or several book purchases. I also knew how much her book had helped me and how the edges of my darkness are still tinged grey. Besides which my mum had invited me and it was one of those ‘meant to happen, meant to be’ moments life throws at you.

 

I was delighted I had said yes (not so much at 8:30 a.m on Saturday when I awoke with a bit of a Friday night head after having friends over, nor an hour later, eating the rest of my breakfast in the car.) But within the first half hour of Margaret’s talk, I knew it was right to be there. 1 med g

It was a great day and she gave us plenty of time to go off and meditate, think about the questions she had posed, or notes we’d taken.

I also met some new people and this in itself led to new opportunity possibly in the future.

I scribbled pages of notes in my writing notebook (the little one) and was touched by the light fingers of inspiration lots, poetry ideas entered my head one after another. I felt like a vessel muse was pouring into.

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Margaret was magical, almost Hawaiian in her laid back attitude and soft speaking. She covered so much in such a short amount of time and felt she could go on and we wished she could also.

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I cannot wait to start working through the notebook, I think I will try it as the first part of my NaNoWriMo project. I feel I may rebel again (as I did in the Summer Camp) and write my words across a range of projects.

 

 

 

 

En route home we popped in to my brother and his fiancé in their new house. It was lovely to see them again and hear all about their wedding plans and see the newly decorated rooms. Gave me food for thought for our home. (Not yet started the decorating!) A lovely way to spend a Saturday, I was left on quite a spiritual high.

 

Good for the Soul!