Category Archives: Life Line

World Childless Week 10th-16th

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I have only discovered Gateway Women UK and World Childless Week today whilst breaking from Admin in Social Media.

This is something rarely spoken about, very much the stories which remain inside us. However, the amount of times women my age and younger are asked the question of children, well it is pretty much every conversation I have ever had with a stranger or new acquaintance since 2005 and it is a painful question.

So with a mighty trigger warning – I am sharing the work of the Gateway Women. With love to you all, those lucky enough and those who are not.

world childless week

World Childless Week aims to raise awareness of the childless not by choice (cnbc) community. To help the cnbc find support groups that understand their grief and can help them move forwards to acceptance. It’s for anyone who is childless because they have never been pregnant (for any reason), not carried full term or have suffered the sadness of a baby born sleeping. All our Champions and founder Steph, represent our audience.

https://worldchildlessweek.net/ © 2018

Each day of the week the site features events. Lots of people submitted their stories and today there are heart-achingly beautiful letters.

childless letters

https://worldchildlessweek.net/2018-letters-from-our-hearts/

This link will land you on today’s events page, if you scroll down you can read the letters. Once you are on the first letter The Baby On The Back Seat By Kenny And Berenice Smith you can click through the other stories.

These tales are often too painful to tell, but for those who cannot write them – reading them can give some much needed healing.

World childless banner

A tiny part of mine seeped into my first pamphlet ‘Fragile Houses’.

The Hay House World Summit 2015 – Week 1

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In 2013 I took part in the Hay House World Summit, this year I have signed up again. It started on the 9th May, I signed up on the 8th and had access to some additional bonus videos.

My original draft post was just a breakdown of who I have listened to, what I have watched and what I have gained. It is the lessons I am learning which are perhaps most interesting for a blog post.

Now this is not New Age Mumbo Jumbo – these are writers and scientists and experiences, alongside meditations and book recommendations (of course they want to sell their work – a small price to pay for a 20 day empowerment retreat FOR FREE)… you can sign up at anytime, give yourself the gift.

hay house logo

Deepak Chopra – Who Am I

This talk was about fears being tracked back to not knowing who we are. I thought you might enjoy this list that I got from my first lesson.

The Gifts of our Spirit – Soul as source of the whole world

love – make this a priority

compassion

empathy

joy

choice

imagination

insight

creativity

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‘Keep your sense of wonder, do things that are meaningful, not just to you, but to the world. Practise self-awareness and mindfulness. Live the questions. Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose?’ – Deepak Chopra

Bruce Lipton – The Science of Keeping Love Alive

Marianne Williamson – Wisdom from a Course in Miracles

and other videos were also available at the time but it was election night in the UK so I missed the time to watch these.

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The first series started Saturday, there are over 100 hours of lessons, videos and audio. This is why you can buy the whole summit. I am just choosing the material I think will be best for me. Confirming what I know and giving me some new knowledge too. In fact they encourage you to use your intuition when choosing.

SHIFT – Dr Wayne W Dyer the-shift187 Hay House Copyright © 2015 Hay House

Last night I watched the best video – SHIFT with Dr Wayne W Dyer (love his books), I didn’t have time to carve 2 hours in one sitting, as I worked with the Worcester Writing Group WWM yesterday and got home at tea time, but it was a great use of time whilst dinner was cooking.

I wrote notes in my writing notebook as I watched, only occasionally paused the video and even wrote a beautiful nature poem. I would recommend this film, watch it. It will wake up your mind and spirit.

Day 3

This morning, I was wide awake at 5 A.M and I thought – why not get up and make some time for more audio from the summit. I watched, listened and made notes for 3 hours. Lots of discovery.

hay house

 Not only is it great to feel connected to authors that I have read for many years, but also to have positivity confirmed. This leap of faith that is talked about that I know I have made. I am so grateful that when I talk to friends and family about my life now, they show true happiness for me too.

When I went to vote, I bumped into two friends that I hadn’t seen for ages, what felt like months, we worked out has actually been 2 years. I talked to them about my life – they were there right before my illness took over, before I left work and resigned and bought a house with Mr G. They couldn’t believe the change, they were delighted. I also might have arranged new opportunities with work with them too.

I feel inspired again to chase dreams and follow those inner voices that guide and freak out when I don’t listen. I have also discovered some great resources and websites, some of which I will share on my weekly Hays House World Summit but really – you should sign up (FOR FREE) and find your own trail through the videos and interviews you need. I was certainly meant to take part this year. Are you?

Copyright © 2015 The Tapping Solution.comtapping solution dot com

Next I watched another film, this one with case studies, incredibly moving. I had heard of this technique, never used it. Not yet.

I have since heard many of the team at Hay House talk about using it – and have tried several tapping sessions myself now, it WORKS!

Then over the next few days I set about listening and responding to interviews;

Awakening the Oracle Within: How to Powerfully and Creatively Navigate Your Destiny with Colette Baron-Reid, best-selling author of Messages from Spirit and The Map, takes you on a journey to awaken your oracle within.

I learnt a couple of great visualisation and mindfulness techniques, an enjoyable lesson.

Next I turned to davidji Finding Happiness and Stepping Into Your Power

Acclaimed meditation expert and stress-management guru davidji presents a fascinating discussion on happiness and destressifying. Most of us move through life in a conditioned way, instead of with purpose and deeper meaning. If we begin to master our emotions—being reflective instead of reactive—we can pull ourselves out of pain and live lives of greater happiness.

Another great session which has led me to some online meditation. I will remember ‘heart breathing’ and ‘soda’ and discovering davidji, an incredible being.

That’s what I enjoyed about the summit last time too – it leads you to discover amazing resources that you otherwise would be ignorant of – I plan to post a list at the end of the summit.

Leaps of Faith: Trusting the Universe and Allowing Divine WillDoreen Virtue

Join Doreen Virtue for an intimate chat about what it means to place your trust in the Universe and change your life course. During this warm and engaging conversation, Doreen candidly talks about her Divine calling to align with her authentic purpose, both back in the ’90s and again today. Opening up about her next phase of life, she discloses her recent leap of faith and how she is now stepping out into the unknown.

Be ’emotionally unafraid’.

Sometimes the universe answers questions that have unsettled uour mind for a while. Last month was incredibly hard for me as a writer and performer, I was struggling with self-belief and losing faith in the power of the poem. It is funny what we already know and forget.

When I was 12, I had a hobby of writing letters, with 32 Pen-pals all over the world. There was a great company (before the days of the internet) where for the price of a couple of stamps they would send you details of other people and you would become penfriends. Two of these dear virtual paper friends made it through to my adult life (yes we still WRITE – use the post boxes and the stamps – airmail on a doormat is the best kind of greeting). Melinda Wee, from the Philippines sent me a postcard when I was 12 – with the words – ‘You can’t please all of the people all of the time, you can please some of the people, some of the time.’

At 12 I didn’t really understand this, I was living, or perhaps surviving in EGO already and couldn’t really wrap myself around this context. Years later, I understood this lesson and then I forgot it. Doreen Virtue (the lady of cards) brought it back to me in the lesson ‘Leaps of Faith: Trusting the Universe & Allowing Divine Will’ – when she said;

You have to not care and trust. Trust that there is an audience who think the same as you.

Don’t worry about them. There is no-one in history on Earth, that everyone liked. You can’t please everyone.  

AND POW! Immediately my fear was gone – and I can tell you my performances since at Mouth & Music and Howl have been fabulous sets where pins would have rung out if they had of been dropped! Poet 2

This photo was taken before my 1st performance back in October 2013.

LET IT GO – or do an ‘Elsa’ which is a Frozen term I have invented. It may catch on like no worries and being in a bubble…

Write from your heart and people who resonate with you WILL follow. Doreen Virtue

The Motivation Renaissance – Brendon Burchard

Join best-selling author and personal-development guru Brendon Burchard and Hay House president and CEO Reid Tracy as they explain how to claim your personal power amid the ocean of distractions presented by modern life.

6 practises of integrity;

1) Think before you act

2) Never commit to anything for which you lack passion

3) Keep our word

4) Always treat others with respect

5) Tell the truth

6) Always favour ACTION

I might follow the advice of writing a 3-5 page manifesto when the retreat is over. My thought to take away at this point is;

Advance towards things that matter – let go of everything that isn’t.

The Soul: Understanding Its Journey & Lessons- James Van Praagh

James Van Praagh, author of Adventures of the Soul, talks about the soul and how understanding your soul will reveal your true essence. James describes the soul as the “core of our being” and explains how the body, the spirit, and the soul are related.

This was one of those strange happenings, an audio lesson I had originally decided to gloss over as I wasn’t convinced by the subject matter or the brief of the lesson. In the end I decided to give it a go.

I received my most powerful experience of the summit yet. I learnt about pace and how I am perhaps racing around at 4x the speed of those people I admire, the ones who exude calm connectedness. He has produced some soul reading cards and I think the best thing to do is just provide a link, tell you to give it a chance and hope that you find yourself in blissful euphoria by the end of it, as I did.

https://www.hayhouseworldsummit.com/lessons/the-soul-understanding-its-journey-and-lessons/

A Acton 10

I dipped into and wrote my way through many more lessons and carry away some important thoughts.

Series 2 has been live since the 14th and I am already a few lessons in. Look for the post next week. I have not felt this light and connected for a long while, this summit has come at exactly the right time for me.

A NEW YEAR Message ~ inspired by ‘black rainbow’ Rachel Kelly

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Link to the original part of this message: Approaching the New Year Truth and Rainbows

NEW YEAR MESSAGE

NYBB NY fireworks

Over Christmas I read Black Rainbowan amazing book by Rachel Kelly. I sent Rachel an email this week requesting permission to use part of Chapter 15 to base this post on, I was delighted when I received a reply the same day! Thanks for your kind permission Rachel and heart-warming email.

I had been thinking about my NEW YEAR blog message, when I read this chapter these pages jumped out (page 275-278). Sections of the book are shown in this

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2015 and You

In Chapter 15 of Black Rainbow, Rachel writes about a book group she started in her neighbourhood, they were all trying to help each other beat depression, the difference with this book club was they reviewed self-help books. Rachel herself worked through some of her depression by rekindling her love for poetry and sometimes prayers. It was this factor that encouraged my mum to recommend this book to me, that was my connection. Only in my own battle against illness I rediscovered writing poetry.

I spent the first 3 years of depression fighting it (something all suffers know is futile), I self- medicated; devoured self-help books, my whole library lending list was full of them, I read every single relevant title in my local library as well as stocking my own shelves at home (eat your heart out Bridgette Jones), I tried meditation, both in audio form and prayer/meditations, I tried pilates, yoga, t’ai chi, visualisation, mood boards, life coaching (I am trained myself and know how important it is to see a coach from time to time) – I was stuck – nothing worked because I was severely depressed in need of help, therapy and medication.

I agree that the list of things above can enhance healing experience, in fact my own experience of psychotherapy last year worked wonders and my sub-conscious still has the power to drag me back before I fall too far. We arm ourselves as best we can with a whole stock cupboard of counter balances, do our best to protect ourselves from the darkness, despite knowing that if and when it hits we just have to live with it, let it do its worse and rebuild afterwards. Become as resilient as nature. The plant may well look dead, but you keep watering it and you will be amazed by what happens.

So let’s start our New Year arming ourselves with tools, create the change we want to see happen. Only you have that power.

Tools for creating change

Let’s start with a prayer Rachel pinned to her noticeboard, read it, let the words sink in. If you are not religious, see it as spirit talk, being a better human being, mankind;

Lord, help me to notice all the signs of goodness

around me and give thanks for them.

Lord, we are each other’s gifts: help me to be thankful for

every life-giving encounter and to see that your gifts

are all around me if only I would look.

In gratitude I will find healing. 

sunset

Gratitude Journals

I have posted about (and written) gratitude journals over the years, if this is something you want to do or need to do to spot the good and take notice, now is the time to start one. Do it for January, dip in daily/weekly/monthly. I used to make a note of 3-5 gratitudes a day.

I chose a small, pretty notebook, tied with a purple ribbon and kept it next to my bed, I used to reflect on a short list just before going to sleep.

The more you take notice, the more you will see.

 

Print the Prayer

Do what Rachel did, print it out, stick it on your noticeboard, notice it.

 

Meditate

Use the prayer. Read it aloud and then ponder on what it says, what is good around you, what signs of goodness do you see and hear today? Give thanks for them. Literally… ‘Thank you for ……’

Think about your own gifts, what do you give to people? Who have you encountered that you felt blessed by or antagonistic towards – not all signs are sent sugar-coated, sometimes there is a different kind of obstacle to overcome to create change.

What of God’s gifts or the universe’s gifts/ mother nature… what are you missing? Open your eyes (you know you have 3)!

Finally repeat the endlines as a mantra until you believe that healing is possible.

In gratitude I will find healing. 

 

be grateful

I persuaded the group that we should each bring along favourite poem to the next session. I brought my faithful Herbert poem ‘The Flower’, with its message of rebirth. A friend brought this poem entitled ‘Instants’, its author unknown:

It was actually written by Jorge Luis Borges, however the versions I have found are slightly different in wording to the poem seen by the group (I imagine this is a translation issue). The wording here is referenced from ‘black rainbow’ and appears as it does in the text apart from the fact the poem is one stanza, WordPress and I have some formatting issues!

Instants

If I could live my life again,
In the next I would try to make more mistakes,
I wouldn’t try to be so perfect, I would be more relaxed,
I’ll be more full – than I am now,
 I’d be sillier than I have been this time around,
 In fact, I’d take very few things seriously.
I would be less hygienic, I would take more risks, 
I would take more trips,
I would watch more sunsets,
I would climb more mountains,
I would swim more rivers,
I would go to more places that I’ve never been,
I would eat more ice creams and fewer lima beans,
I would have more real problems and fewer imaginary
ones.
I was one of those people who lived prudent and prolific lives –
each minute of his life.
Of course I had moments of joy, but,
if I could go back I would try to have only good moments,

After all, moments are what life is made of,
Don’t miss out on the now!

I was one of those people who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer,
without a hot-water bottle,
without an umberella and a parachute,

If I could live my life again I would travel light.
If I could live my life again I would walk bare foot
from the beginning of spring till
the end of autumn.
I would take more rides on merry-go-rounds, 
I would watch more sunrises and play with more children,
If I had the life to live. But now as you see, I am eighty-five,
– and I know that I am dying .

WOW! At this point I probably needn’t type anymore, right? I mean it has all been said. This poem made me feel invincible. Read it again. We all agree. Old age is after all a place (hopefully) we are inevitably heading towards, this was another reason I was so angry about being debilitated by depression in my 30s. That time when we should be jumping out of planes and climbing mountains on the other side of the world.

motivation old

We weren’t eighty-five and we weren’t dying. The time had come to watch more sunrises and play with more children, to shout with joy and swim more rivers.

We spent time at the group making our own lists inspired by ‘Instants’… ‘Let’s boost our sense of delight.’ We made logs of the past year and recorded what we had most enjoyed doing and what we hadn’t enjoyed too.

 

Write your list

Rewrite the poem from your own perspective, what would you care less about or strive to do more? Maybe you can make these part of 2015 and not wait until you are eighty-five. Make your wishes reality.

Or copy what the group did and create your own log from 2014.

Find the pursuit that allows you to be your most creative self. Go with the flow.

checklist

The chapter closes with a letter written by Sir Sydney Smith in 1820 which Rachel was sent. It parallels with her own guidelines for dealing with low spirits… apart from his advice to avoid poetry. I would say BATHE IN IT!

Thanks again Rachel for writing the book in the first place and for allowing me to reference sections here

HappyNewYear

ADVICE CONCERNING LOW SPIRITS

A letter from Sydney Smith to Lady Georgiana Morpeth, Feb. 16, 1820:

Dear Lady Georgiana,– Nobody has suffered more from low spirits than I have done — so I feel for you. 1st. Live as well as you dare. 2nd. Go into the shower-bath with a small quantity of water at a temperature low enough to give you a slight sensation of cold, 75° or 80°. 3rd. Amusing books. 4th. Short views of human life — not further than dinner or tea. 5th. Be as busy as you can. 6th. See as much as you can of those friends who respect and like you. 7th. And of those acquaintances who amuse you. 8th. Make no secret of low spirits to your friends, but talk of them freely — they are always worse for dignified concealment. 9th. Attend to the effects tea and coffee produce upon you. 10th. Compare your lot with that of other people. 11th. Don’t expect too much from human life — a sorry business at the best. 12th. Avoid poetry, dramatic representations (except comedy), music, serious novels, melancholy, sentimental people, and everything likely to excite feeling or emotion, not ending in active benevolence. 13th. Do good, and endeavour to please everybody of every degree. 14th. Be as much as you can in the open air without fatigue. 15th. Make the room where you commonly sit, gay and pleasant. 16th. Struggle by little and little against idleness. 17th. Don’t be too severe upon yourself, or underrate yourself, but do yourself justice. 18th. Keep good blazing fires. 19th. Be firm and constant in the exercise of rational religion. 20th. Believe me, dear Lady Georgiana,
Very truly yours,
Sydney Smith

 

Despite constant advances since the 1820s, much of this advice is still relevant and helpful, some more so.

ghandi

 

Let’s finish with a reminder that life is precious, we are heading forwards – let’s make it worthwhile. Spend some of your time with those staying young at heart.

 

 

 

 

In return for the permission to use part of Chapter 15, here are some links to Rachel’s website, go and BUY her book on Amazon or download the app.

‘I would love to get the book into the hands of those who need it and all my author proceeds go to mental health charities.’  – Rachel Kelly 1803_BlackRainbow_Dhb.indd www.black-rainbow.co.uk

Rachel Kelly is a writer and former journalist on The Times. Her memoir Black Rainbow was published by Hodder & Stoughton in April 2014 and won the Spear’s Best First Book Award in October 2014.

All author proceeds from the sale of this book go to the charities SANE and United Response.

sane_logo saneorgcoukUnited%20Response

When the Going Gets Tough!

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This post is for everyone who has a DAYJOB and is also trying to forge a writing career.

This is probably how your mind feels most of the time.

Culinary disaster

©EmmaC 2014

 

I promise you this is not my culinary disaster (and although my friend posted it on social media, she probably didn’t expect it to be used on my blog!) – this is what happens if you don’t prick potatoes before cooking them.

Today the stress in my head (at the day job, from the day job, from thinking about the writing life I would rather lead, in trying to imagine the evening before it was even lunchtime!) built up to this explosive point… I felt like these potatoes…

If you have ever felt the same read on.

roses

©N Lewis2014

Even these beautiful roses have sharp bits.

No-one can have a perfect life, there are always sharp bits! I know a good few people lucky enough to be full time writers, they no longer have to balance that life with a dayjob, and even they still have sharp bits.

Remember living the life you dream of doesn’t mean you will lead a stress free, smooth edged life.

Dream, of course, but keep your head somewhere in reality.

 

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Learn your triggers and have a mental list of how to get over the stress once you have made it home. Any way you can relax and let go of it is good. Here is a list of things that work for me;

 

  • Reading a book
  • Having a lie down/power nap
  • Taking a bath

 

      • Working out (I rarely do this in the face of confronting my stress – but it always works when I do)
        • Rage it out in a free write
          • Phone a friend and have a bit of a moan

 

  • Chill out with a magazine and a cuppa
  • Watch a film
  • Go for a walk

 

And remember why you are in this dual/ split life place to begin with.

motivation closer

 

 

 

 

Another idea is to visualise (and manifest) sometime in 2013 I created this board of dreams, actually a board of what I wanted my life to be – not dreams but reality! Some of these aspects are already coming true, it serves as a visual reminder….

 

visual

©N Lewis 2014

 

Almost central are the words THE SMARTEST DECISION I EVER MADE…

giving up my full time career after 14 years and with it the salary and the pension is okay, it is just that, the SMARTEST and BRAVEST decision I have ever made. And no matter how bad my day has been by 5pm or 6pm at the latest, IT  — IS — OVER! Whereas before there  was barely time to grab dinner before working away for another 5 or 6 hours. That 60-80 hour relentless working week is not sustainable – it is why so many teachers took strike action yesterday.

Finding time to write can be a challenge, if you do find time keeping energy up can be hard, but how worth it – think about how writing makes you feel. Better than most things in the world? Then keep going!

Try to hold onto the good days and let go of the bad – in the same way we let go of rejections and celebrate our publishing successes!

Just keep going!

motivation auth

 

 

Hay House World Summit 2013

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I only found out about this event today, it is the first time Hay House have done a free online summit. It was held between October 12 -18th and 35 interviews from the original 100 are still available to listen to for the next 10 hours.

Well worth a look. You may find some guidance very useful.

http://www.hayhouseworldsummit.com/listen/

 

Daily Prompt: Life Line

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Daily Prompt: Life Line

by michelle w. on August 12, 2013

You’re on a long flight, and a palm reader sitting next to you insists she reads your palm. You hesitate, but agree. What does she tell you?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us HANDS.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/12/daily-prompt-hands/

world handsI’m not really interested in having my fortune told, I don’t believe in all that mumbo jumbo – but this is a long flight to Singapore and I am going to sit next to this lady for a few hours. What’s the worst she can tell me? That I am going to die? We are all going to die at some point.

I hold out my hand, palm upwards. The lady goes quiet, closes her eyes, grasps my hand in both of hers and squeezes. Then she releases my hand and opens her eyes.

She’s performing this strange ritual rather publically in the middle aisle seats. She makes no eye contact, no reassuring sounds or words, she stares at my palm and slowly starts tracing the lines with the smooth skin of her own index finger.

“Your fate line is very faint and your heart and life lines are long. You express your emotions freely but you are selfish in love.

…. You have suffered an emotional trauma.

Your head line is short but you are very creative, you enjoy adventure and have enthusiasm for life (fairly obvious I would have thought as I am on a plane!)

Your life will be full of momentous decisions. (Better neat my indecisive nature then!)

Your life line shows that you have plenty of vitality and strength (I’m still listening to you aren’t I?)

You are a self-made individual, you had aspirations from early childhood. Your palm is ‘Fire’ (that links to my zodiac) and this means that you are; spontaneous, enthusiastic and optimistic, sometimes egoistic, impulsive and insensitive. (Nice!) You are an extrovert, (well that one’s easy!) You do things boldly and instinctively.”

She stops for a moment and looks up at me.

“Do you recognise yourself?”

“Yes thank you, very accurate.” That is what I said, but I couldn’t help thinking she had taught me nothing at all.