27 | August | 2014 | awritersfountain

I realise that my blog is becoming reviews of events I have been to or books I have read. Although this is still part of my journey, I feel I am hiding the honest, personal posts that you like to read.

I enjoy reviewing the wonderful experiences I have, but these posts take hours to compose and in ‘blog terms’ attract very little traffic. Not that I am all about the stats! Data, smata – I am here so you can see and read all about the unlocking of this creative life I have ignored for years.

Nearly a year back in on a previously (teenage) 10 year writing and publishing career, 3 years of which I also performed poetry on stage and a year of which I worked as a freelance writer – it is okay. It still feels right and good, somedays (as with any job) are tougher than others.

There are times I lose confidence in my work. There are times (I know we shouldn’t) I compare myself to others and end up lost in some harshly negative conclusion. There are performances that flop, poems that don’t quite make it. Don’t throw them away, snippets for another day.

I have always said that my talent for poetry lies in the fact that it drips out of me, a poetic stream of consciousness – this is not a talent you can spot in a book or on the stage… my work has to stand up to that which has been crafted over days, weeks, months & years. I have learnt about editing – mainly from the wonderful STANZA group I attend, I am putting editing and redrafting into practise, but even then the whole process can happen quickly.

I am one of a small group of chosen poets who will be performing in between the music acts at a local festival this weekend, I had one suitable poem, I have just spent an hour (less than) writing another 4. I know I am not alone in this way of working.

I am also trying to make collections of poems in the hope of publishing a pamphlet – this can take people years, my only attempt this year was to Offa Press, I have made a note of dates for 2015 and there are still some places I may try this year. People keep asking me where they can find my work, asking if am I published, it would be great to produce a pamphlet from my bag and sell them a little bit of me, right there on the spot.

This writing journey is only in its infancy (nearly a year), already there have been lots of successes, both in terms of published work, projects & performances I am working on and getting paid for, job roles created for /offered to me and perhaps most importantly a network of beautiful writers and poets – many of whom I also consider friends.

I am fine, I am happy.