It has been ages since I had a chance to write for any online/blog writing challenges, I am looking forward to trying to manage my 100 words this week for FF – Friday Fictioneers.
Join in and check out the challenge at Rochelle’s blog. Click the icon 
don’t forget to read the RULES.
PHOTO PROMPT
Copyright –Jennifer Pendergast 
They leant the bikes against the wall where the others were.
“It’s the perfect place to film.”
“We’ll struggle getting the equipment up, there’s no room for the van.”
“We don’t need it, we’d cycle again.” Adele sighed.
Stephen always picked holes in her ideas, no matter how good they were.
“I’ll phone them.” she said, finding the perfect excuse to turn away.
Stephen made a quick sketch.
“They won’t do it. They say it’s haunted.”
“What rubbish!”
The pair got back on their bikes, Stephen glanced up and saw the windows were open. He knew he’d drawn them shut.
awritersfountain 
OOOOH, scary! and sad
Thanks Grace.
You’re welcome.
and so the horror begins! i guess they have to learn the truth about the house the hard way. 🙂 great story
Thanks Kz that makes me feel better.
Dear Neenslewey,
There were several story lines going on here, all capped off with the ‘oh, my goodness’ line. The reveal was good, but what was the point of all the other character development?
Aloha,
Doug
I have spent too long away from my flash fiction pen Doug. Could you enlighten me on ways I may have avoided the unnecessary character development. You know that place you stand inside your own story where you can’t see the wood for the trees?
Dear Neens,
A lot going on in this story between her calling the film crew and the strained relationship between Stephen and Adele. Was it me, or did it change point of view after she phoned?
Shalom,
Rochelle
I think I changed the point of view (without realising) any chance you could suggest how I amend it? 😊 Thanks
For one I’d take out Stephen sketching. Seems to detract from the two story lines, ie their filming the place and her irritation.
Then perhaps something like,
After she’d made the call she came back with the news. “They say they won’t do it. It’s haunted.”
“Rubbish.”
“Guess they don’t realize you’re always right.”
As they mounted their bikes Stephen looked up. “I could’ve sworn those windows were shut.”
All suggestion and I don’t know what that does to your word count.
Now aren’t you glad you asked? 😉
I am glad I asked, thanks for the help and ideas.
My favorite part was the last line:
The pair got back on their bikes, Stephen glanced up and saw the windows were open. He knew he’d drawn them shut.
Good job, keep writing
Thanks…. Have been away too long from FF, trying to get back some time for the blog challenges – have missed reading others too.
Well you can certainly tell I have been away from FF for too long, a bit rusty. I don’t see the multiple storylines though. As always thanks for the honest reviews, a rewrite would do it.
Nice twist.
Thanks. I couldn’t decide what sort of story to write, but there was more an air of bizarre than wedding venue for me… Glad it led somewhere in the end.
Nice story. Chilling end! 🙂 Suspense about the reality!
Thanks Anita, glad you enjoyed it.
Neens, Good story. It stood well alone, but would also be a good beginning for a longer story. Well done. Welcome back. 🙂 —Susan
Thanks Susan, I think it needed to be a longer story that was part of the struggle with 100 word edit – which was spot on 100 words at least 😉
It was a bit hard to follow this because of the POV switch and the lack of speech attribution, but you mention you’re rusty and I think with a little polish you could have this story shining bright!
Thanks I hope to do better this week, all good points, Rochelle has suggested ways it can be improved to make more sense.