This evening I was surfing through Social Networks when I came across this article on Forbes website and it got me thinking.
2013 has been a real year of improvement
in health
in mental strength
in work
in writing
in life
It is the first time I have felt alive in about a decade and the difference? I am the driving force – this is my life and it is the only one I am getting and I have wasted enough of it already – and how have I wasted it? Well reading the list it all made sense. So here is a little expose in the hope that you don’t fall down the same rabbit holes and if you do at least you may be aware of it and how you can gain the strength and control back!
As with many people, I have experienced a year when my life took a 360 turn and I found it difficult to recover. These are the mistakes I made (and they are all things that MENTALLY STRONG PEOPLE wouldn’t do!);
1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves.
2. Give Away Their Power.
3. Shy Away from Change.
4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control.
5. Worry About Pleasing Others.
6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks.
7. Dwell on the Past.
8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over.
9. Resent Other People’s Success.
10. Give Up After Failure.
11. Fear Alone Time.
12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything.
13. Expect Immediate Results.
© 2013 Forbes.com LLC™ List by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist
Cheryl Snapp Conner is a frequent speaker and author on reputation and thought leadership.
Many of these things happen subconsciously but you need to be aware of them to change them. I became aware of how much damage I was doing to myself through these mental attitudes, eventually (after many years). Also things I’d considered to be barriers keeping me from happiness, really weren’t. Other factors that I hadn’t focused on were a problem and did cause difficulties.
There was a lot of rubbish things happening and my head was swimming in rubbish too!
(My photo of a bin!)
Everything which made me sad was to do with a life that was past and incorrect employment decisions. None of my unhappiness has come from my life with Mr G – which is the polar opposite!
1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves.
EVERYDAY for years, I felt really sorry for myself for the cards life had played me and what my world had become. I blamed everyone else.
2. Give Away Their Power.
I stayed in an unhappy situation for 8 years, I fought against being pushed and victimised. I felt powerless, in the end I decided just to pretend I didn’t care because it never got any better. I tried to escape for 7 years.
3. Shy Away from Change.
I hated change, fear it – knew it was guaranteed but hated it all the same. And refused to see the changes I needed to make for myself – in many aspects of my life.
4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control.
EVERYDAY.
5. Worry About Pleasing Others.
Not consciously – not ‘pleasing’ but giving 110 % when less than 20% was deserved and 70% would have done. It made me very ill. I worried about what others thought, all the time.
6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks.
DEFINITELY – this plan to jump executed this year was in planning and development stages for 4 -7 years!
7. Dwell on the Past.
DEFINITELY – it owned me, controlled my future – owned my present and completely destroyed my life.
8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over.
See above – and because I changed nothing – nothing changed!
9. Resent Other People’s Success.
DEFINITELY – and this is one of the biggest areas of change (and again a lot of this has been subconscious action) I couldn’t stand other people’s happy news, let alone success. Now I take part in celebrating it!
10. Give Up After Failure.
I NEVER GAVE UP – THIS IS WHY I AM STILL HERE!
11. Fear Alone Time.
I DIDN’T FEAR BEING ALONE – I HAVE ALWAYS LIKED IT AS MUCH AS CROWDS.
12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything.
I felt hard done by and expected the change and turn around to happen whilst I sat idly passive and disassociated!
13. Expect Immediate Results.
DEFINITELY and that was without taking any action! And when nothing changed I would crumple a little more and another bit of me would disappear.
10/12 – Weaker minded people don’t usually obtain almost a whole list – even failing has to be done at 83%
This list is something to bear in mind! Something to aim at – without being aware of the list – I have turned around a lot of my ways of thinking and am living a more positive life.
1. I am happy with the life I lead – I have no reason to feel sorry for myself, I have discovered what makes me happy and I focus on the positive, things will go wrong, that’s life – but they will not be anywhere near as bad as what I have already experienced, and I have survived that!
2. Give Away Their Power – I own myself – including now in my work life – those I have to answer to think highly of me and so they should!
3. Shy Away from Change – I don’t. Change is a constant and guaranteed. I embrace it.
4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. – No point if it is out of my control then I am powerless to it and needn’t take action.
5. Worry About Pleasing Others – I do – by being myself.
6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks – I gave up my job and bought a house at the same time…. what do you mean calculated?!
7. Dwell on the Past- it is there, in the past. Move on. Walk forward.
8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. – Never more than twice at the most.
9. Resent Other People’s Success. – Nope, I celebrate it. One day – it will be me that has the news of success and I would want a party of people who were genuinely pleased for me!
10. Give Up After Failure. – Pick yourself up and carry on. Failure is a working success… a step to th
e road of triumph.
11. Fear Alone Time.
12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything.
13. Expect Immediate Results. – I have given myself 4 Olympics – just like the Gold Medal finalists of the summer of 2012. I have one & 1/2 decades left!
awritersfountain 
Glad you came to peace with yourself! It truly is a great feeling, no doubt about it. 🙂
Thanks – that is true and you can achieve so much more when you are kind to yourself than when you constantly push yourself.