FF – Friday Fictioneers – Bidwell Exchange

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Oh My Goodness…. this is SO exciting and beats the fortnight where I managed to read every entry 2 weeks in a row! I am the first in!

Rochelle has been posting the prompt for Friday on Wednesdays for a while and usually I am still only 60 something on the list – I happened to be on my reader this morning – right place – right time -and right photo – the story idea just came!

Hope you enjoy my Flash Fiction written for Friday Fictioneers this week! friday-fictioneers Click the button to find out more about this challenge and read other stories!

Bidwell Exchange

copyright-Renee Heath

Copyright -Renee Heath

“That’s the one I want.”

“You sure?” mum asked “She’s a lot older than you.”

“I don’t care!”

Lauren’s mum thought there ought to be more paperwork involved with this sort of thing!

“Please!” Lauren begged.

Gravely her mum nodded, Lauren flung her arms around her, kissing her on the cheek. Mum stared at the radiant smile burning it to memory.

Lauren stepped forward.

 

“One exchange complete.” The Bidwell Clerk announced unnecessarily, Mum stared up at the tall, slender figure.

Lauren had always wanted to be an ice dancer. It would have cost her childhood either way, she thought.

75 responses »

  1. Dear Neen,

    This is a bit spooky and funny at the same time. I’m wondering how to get to that exchange. I’ll take something in a younger and taller size. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    • Ha ha – I would opt for taller for sure, it all seemed to tie in especially with the Boost Mobile next door. The wonders of modern city living! It was an idea that just hit me – I wondered why she would walkabout like that! Her poor mum huh!

    • Thanks Doug – the story and the characters just appeared into my head, I still find relationships a challenge in such short flash writing, glad you picked up on it!
      Aloha

    • Absolutely Janet – as soon as I spotted the lady the idea slipped into my only just awake head – good time to write I find! Roll out of bed – downstairs – kettle on – laptop – write and reward oneself with coffee after!
      Glad you liked it!

    • Double thanks, Janet – I have just found out you are holidaying in the mountains. I am delighted you read and replied to my entry this week – now, go and relax!

    • I am sure there is someone who would want it – when I conceived the idea I wasn’t thinking what would happen to the original – I thought maybe just like shoes at a bowling alley it would be sprayed and stored! The exchange comes from wanting a new/different life not a part ex – although that could be interesting!

    • I imagined the exchange was the whole package – that Lauren becomes this other person – hence her mother’s desire for paperwork! It isn’t a fully fleshed out idea yet – just a flash of inspiration and a flash of words!

    • Thanks Kim – it was an interesting idea – I wonder why it slipped inside my head – must have been watching something futuristic at some point in the recent past or something – this isn’t usually how my writing brain works- nice to have a different experience flash writing though.

    • Thanks for taking the time to re-read it, sometimes my flash writing makes sense and other times there are some layers to be negotiated – depends on how much time I take editing down those words!

    • Thanks Perry – I always read your entries but for some unknown reason BlogSpot never accepts my URL so I can never reply to people on BlogSpot!
      I thought your story was very sweet and I think as far as ice-breakers go (someone already commented) it was unique! Mr G tried a similar one on me (which obviously worked) he told me I was the prettiest and funniest person he’d met in a long while – of course now I can see it’s a line – but in those dizzying first moments of lust it was unique enough for me!

    • Thanks for reading – I hadn’t intended it to be spooky or scary but I guess that people reading it might think that, thinking about it- it is quite a sinister idea!

    • I know Bjorn!

      It’s a miracle (being 1st) & I have nearly kept up to date with the entries too! I love it when an idea ignites just as you are about to thrash the keyboard for 100 words!

  2. I love the concept. I had to read it a couple of times as we hillbillies are notoriously slow between the ears. Makes me wonder what choices I might consider.

    • Thanks Troy – I was amazed to get the 1st post – I rushed the edit and hoped I was still in it! Just happened to be online at the same time as Rochelle! Glad you liked it – thanks for the compliments!

  3. It would be interesting to be able to switch bodies, but so long as I could switch back. It’s just I’m used to this old thing and wouldn’t want to give it up entirely. And I doubt I’d get a taker!

    • Thanks Jackie… I think there would be enough demand for such a service… From our reactions alone… And apart from a press shot people don’t tend to see us anyway 😉
      Your comment made me wonder. Amused by the idea that the same person could rejoin the queue several times using different identities.

  4. I’m not exactly sure if she just bought the costume or if she bought the identity of an ice dancer, but I think I prefer the second interpretation because it’s more mysterious. Either way, you found a unique response to the photo. Ron

    • I am not sure I wrote it with that in mind – hence the mother wanting warranties and paperwork – I guess Bidwell Exchange could offer a replacement service if the bodies aren’t satisfied, they would probably have a 28 day returns policy though!

    • Thanks Dee – I think the exchange is a place most of us would try – I have met the most gorgeous people and they are still not happy or completely satisfied either – I am sure they don’t see what the rest of us see.

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