May31

Friday Fictioneers – Finale

Posted on May 31, 2013 by Nina Lewis

Corrine shouldn’t have taken it but she hadn’t wanted the night to end, not yet. No-one had noticed.

Hannah was delighted her plan worked. For months she prayed Jasmine would fall ill, and in the end, all an understudy had to do in this town was bed the Director. Textbook.

After the curtain call Hannah had decided to stay in costume but not character to celebrate. Guilty she’d worn the beautiful dress home, she decided to hang it outside. As she stepped out onto the cold, metal fire escape, Corrine O.Ded silently slumped over on the bathroom floor next door.

40 responses »

The Bumble Files on June 1, 2013 at 3:50 am said:

I enjoyed this! I thought of theatrical take on this, too. You captured a lot in this short space.

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- neenslewy on June 1, 2013 at 12:08 pm said:
  
  Thank you – I had a few initial ideas when I saw the photograph – the theatre was one of the strongest.
  
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petrujviljoen on June 1, 2013 at 8:21 am said:

Oyh! Women!

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- neenslewy on June 1, 2013 at 12:09 pm said:
  
  Well – I did consider about making it a dress a man wore – I decided against it.
  
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Rochelle Wisoff-Fields on June 1, 2013 at 11:28 am said:

Dear Neens,

Shades of Black Swan here. Chilling.

Shalom,

Rochelle

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- neenslewy on June 1, 2013 at 12:10 pm said:
  
  Thanks Rochelle – I have never seen Black Swan – it is on my must see list – I am waiting for an Arthouse to show it on a big screen!
  It had great reviews – if my writing taps into some of that potential magic – then great!
  
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sustainabilitea on June 1, 2013 at 11:54 am said:

Good story and good job of choosing a title! The director may want to watch out, too.

janet

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- neenslewy on June 1, 2013 at 12:11 pm said:
  
  Thanks – I took some time over the title – it works well, glad you commented on it. Glad you enjoyed it.
  
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  - sustainabilitea on June 1, 2013 at 12:20 pm said:
    
    I always work on my titles because I think they’re very important. I’m always a little disappointed when there isn’t one.
  - neenslewy on June 1, 2013 at 12:27 pm said:
    
    I struggle with the titles sometimes and always add them after I have written the story. This title I am pleased with – as it covers the story of both women’s lives.
Björn Rudberg (brudberg) on June 1, 2013 at 6:13 pm said:

The end.. chilling

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- neenslewy on June 1, 2013 at 7:18 pm said:
  
  Thanks Bjorn. I had the end after the 1st line it was the story between I had to create this week!
  
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John Hardy Bell on June 1, 2013 at 6:45 pm said:

Very well written. Like Rochelle, I immediately thought of Black Swan. In some cases, such a comparision is not a good thing, but in this case it’s very good! Be it in the highly competitive worlds of ballet or theater, I’m sure many an understudy can relate to the sentiments of your characters!! This has all the makings of a larger piece.

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- neenslewy on June 1, 2013 at 7:17 pm said:
  
  Thanks John, glad you enjoyed it!
  I am relatively new to flash fiction, Rochelle’s challenges are where I started. Quite often my flashes lend themselves to further work. I am currently working on Receiver Reception – as a long piece. Read the flash if you want, see what you think.
  
  https://awritersfountain.wordpress.com/2013/05/03/friday-fictioneers-receiver-reception/
  
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John Hardy Bell on June 1, 2013 at 7:25 pm said:

For being new to flash fiction, you’re certainly off to a great start! I’ve been doing these 100 words stories off an on for a couple of years, and I have to say that nothing has benefited my writing more! I’m looking forward to catching up on your work and seeing what is yet to come!!

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- neenslewy on June 1, 2013 at 7:29 pm said:
  
  It certainly makes you consider every word! Thanks for joining, enjoy the blog.
  
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John Nixon (@TheSupercargo) on June 1, 2013 at 8:34 pm said:

Good take on the prompt. Like Rochelle and John I also thought of Black Swan – that film obviously made an impression. Hope you enjoy it when you get to see it. Interesting that you’re nearly as new to Flash Fiction as I am. It’s a fun exercise and interesting to see what other people make of the prompts. (I only look after I’ve written and posted my own effort.)

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- neenslewy on June 1, 2013 at 8:53 pm said:
  
  Thanks John – I only read them after I have written mine. It is funny all these references to Black Swan because I don’t know the plot – I used to dance and that’s why I am interested in seeing it. I was busy when it was out on general release, I think I bought the DVD in a sale at Christmas but would love to see it on the silver screen.
  Flash is a great writing form and I am glad I found FF when I did.
  
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Hannah on June 1, 2013 at 9:24 pm said:

Clever little story, even if a bit chilling!

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- neenslewy on June 1, 2013 at 9:27 pm said:
  
  Thanks for reading it and commenting Hannah.
  
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neenslewy on June 1, 2013 at 10:19 pm said:

https://awritersfountain.wordpress.com/2013/06/01/marathon-read/

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elappleby on June 2, 2013 at 8:03 am said:

A great story. I loved the use of the word ‘textbook’ here – punchy!

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- neenslewy on June 2, 2013 at 8:24 am said:
  
  Thanks – glad you enjoyed it.
  
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40again on June 2, 2013 at 8:56 am said:

What a great take on the prompt. I really enjoyed this. Well done
Dee

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- neenslewy on June 2, 2013 at 9:43 am said:
  
  Thanks Dee, glad you enjoyed the read!
  
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kz on June 2, 2013 at 3:31 pm said:

chilling tale. well done. 🙂

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- neenslewy on June 2, 2013 at 4:43 pm said:
  
  Thanks kz, glad you were chilled!
  
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Sunshine on June 3, 2013 at 12:07 am said:

drama on and off stage…love your story scene. ♥

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- neenslewy on June 3, 2013 at 8:25 am said:
  
  Thanks – glad you liked it – I liked your review ‘drama on and off stage.’
  
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  - Sunshine on June 3, 2013 at 2:52 pm said:
    
    ☺ amazing how much drama some people can produce. ha ha. you’re welcome.
  - neenslewy on June 4, 2013 at 10:05 pm said:
    
    Some people ‘are’ drama 😉
  - Sunshine on June 5, 2013 at 2:29 pm said:
    
    😀
David Stewart on June 3, 2013 at 10:11 am said:

Great look into the fierce competition in arts like this, sort of like Phantom of the Opera or Black Swan. Great job.

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- neenslewy on June 3, 2013 at 10:15 am said:
  
  Yes, how some fall and others follow, thanks for the read.
  
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rgayer55 on June 3, 2013 at 11:02 am said:

Chilling tale. Very well written.

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- neenslewy on June 4, 2013 at 10:25 pm said:
  
  Thanks for such a lovely compliment. Glad I chilled you.
  
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denmother on June 4, 2013 at 1:38 pm said:

Grim, yet very enjoyable. Well done!

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- neenslewy on June 4, 2013 at 9:46 pm said:
  
  There is an element of grimness to this tale – gritty and realistic as well though. There are layers that are not obvious at first, maybe Hannah is destined to end up the same way as her neighbour, letting other people control and overpower her. Or maybe that one run of shows was enough to quench her thirst. Glad you enjoyed it.
  
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Joe Owens on June 4, 2013 at 6:34 pm said:

There is so much great symbolism in this. You did a great job with it.

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- neenslewy on June 4, 2013 at 9:41 pm said:
  
  Wow, thank you Joe for such a great compliment. Glad you see the layers.
  
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