Copyright – Janet Webb
Corrine shouldn’t have taken it but she hadn’t wanted the night to end, not yet. No-one had noticed.
Hannah was delighted her plan worked. For months she prayed Jasmine would fall ill, and in the end, all an understudy had to do in this town was bed the Director. Textbook.
After the curtain call Hannah had decided to stay in costume but not character to celebrate. Guilty she’d worn the beautiful dress home, she decided to hang it outside. As she stepped out onto the cold, metal fire escape, Corrine O.Ded silently slumped over on the bathroom floor next door.
I enjoyed this! I thought of theatrical take on this, too. You captured a lot in this short space.
Thank you – I had a few initial ideas when I saw the photograph – the theatre was one of the strongest.
Oyh! Women!
Well – I did consider about making it a dress a man wore – I decided against it.
Dear Neens,
Shades of Black Swan here. Chilling.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle – I have never seen Black Swan – it is on my must see list – I am waiting for an Arthouse to show it on a big screen!
It had great reviews – if my writing taps into some of that potential magic – then great!
Good story and good job of choosing a title! The director may want to watch out, too.
janet
Thanks – I took some time over the title – it works well, glad you commented on it. Glad you enjoyed it.
I always work on my titles because I think they’re very important. I’m always a little disappointed when there isn’t one.
I struggle with the titles sometimes and always add them after I have written the story. This title I am pleased with – as it covers the story of both women’s lives.
The end.. chilling
Thanks Bjorn. I had the end after the 1st line it was the story between I had to create this week!
Very well written. Like Rochelle, I immediately thought of Black Swan. In some cases, such a comparision is not a good thing, but in this case it’s very good! Be it in the highly competitive worlds of ballet or theater, I’m sure many an understudy can relate to the sentiments of your characters!! This has all the makings of a larger piece.
Thanks John, glad you enjoyed it!
I am relatively new to flash fiction, Rochelle’s challenges are where I started. Quite often my flashes lend themselves to further work. I am currently working on Receiver Reception – as a long piece. Read the flash if you want, see what you think.
https://awritersfountain.wordpress.com/2013/05/03/friday-fictioneers-receiver-reception/
For being new to flash fiction, you’re certainly off to a great start! I’ve been doing these 100 words stories off an on for a couple of years, and I have to say that nothing has benefited my writing more! I’m looking forward to catching up on your work and seeing what is yet to come!!
It certainly makes you consider every word! Thanks for joining, enjoy the blog.
Good take on the prompt. Like Rochelle and John I also thought of Black Swan – that film obviously made an impression. Hope you enjoy it when you get to see it. Interesting that you’re nearly as new to Flash Fiction as I am. It’s a fun exercise and interesting to see what other people make of the prompts. (I only look after I’ve written and posted my own effort.)
Thanks John – I only read them after I have written mine. It is funny all these references to Black Swan because I don’t know the plot – I used to dance and that’s why I am interested in seeing it. I was busy when it was out on general release, I think I bought the DVD in a sale at Christmas but would love to see it on the silver screen.
Flash is a great writing form and I am glad I found FF when I did.
Clever little story, even if a bit chilling!
Thanks for reading it and commenting Hannah.
https://awritersfountain.wordpress.com/2013/06/01/marathon-read/
A great story. I loved the use of the word ‘textbook’ here – punchy!
Thanks – glad you enjoyed it.
What a great take on the prompt. I really enjoyed this. Well done
Dee
Thanks Dee, glad you enjoyed the read!
chilling tale. well done. 🙂
Thanks kz, glad you were chilled!
drama on and off stage…love your story scene. ♥
Thanks – glad you liked it – I liked your review ‘drama on and off stage.’
☺ amazing how much drama some people can produce. ha ha. you’re welcome.
Some people ‘are’ drama 😉
😀
Great look into the fierce competition in arts like this, sort of like Phantom of the Opera or Black Swan. Great job.
Yes, how some fall and others follow, thanks for the read.
Chilling tale. Very well written.
Thanks for such a lovely compliment. Glad I chilled you.
Grim, yet very enjoyable. Well done!
There is an element of grimness to this tale – gritty and realistic as well though. There are layers that are not obvious at first, maybe Hannah is destined to end up the same way as her neighbour, letting other people control and overpower her. Or maybe that one run of shows was enough to quench her thirst. Glad you enjoyed it.
There is so much great symbolism in this. You did a great job with it.
Wow, thank you Joe for such a great compliment. Glad you see the layers.